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although its been some time
since we've gone our seperate ways , its a little too late to say our goodbyes , fhor its been said &gone ; never would i hav imagined this is where we end . this road ,well this is where we part , no more chances fhor a kiss goodbye , not even another glance in yur eyes. ;yur gone ,by tmrw. so this is where i'll say goodbye. fhor one last time,.
i'll miss yu. | | |
| that feeling where everything goes wrong ,yur stranded all alone .with no where to turn.;no where to go.
yu fall all over the place ,its like yur worlds upside down,.
crying yur life out ,lying on the floor ,thats how it feels .when yu lose everything .
yu hav no grasp on anything in front of yu,.theres nothing in front of yu.
voices are distant in yur ear .faces are blurred through the many stabs in front of yu.
to lose everything ,.thats not even everything.`
yu havnt seen the most of life yet, not just yet .theres a lot more to come ,
the battles .;the next one fiercer than the next.
yu thought yu've seen it all ,
but reallie ,its just the beginning. ;the ends not even close .,the war doesnt end till all the bloods shed .
through all those fights ,those battles and trials.
;yu stand back up everytime. ,swearing yur stronger than yu were .
yu are stronger ,but not yet strong enough.;just a simple push could be enough to break yu.,
yu never know when would be the last fight ,when would be the last daylight yu see .,the last raindrop yu catch. ;
yu swear yu dont give a damn ,yu swear yur done with caring .
are yu reallie ,are yu so promising to believe yu dont belong anywhere .
that nothing matters ,and yu'll be able to pick yurself up .
;life hangs yu on a thread ,.just waiting fhor the right moment to cut it through ,
yu'll fall ,yu'll fall so hard ,but everyone gets the strength ,just enough strength to stand back up .,
but we arent prepared fhor the next fall ,cuz there comes more ,.
`falling hurts ,it reallie does.,
it breaks yu apart ,might not be seen physically ,but inside .;yur all torn up.
nothing stays the same ,nothing lasts fhorever .;
just look inside of yu.,look at the scars ,.look at the wounds . ;
look at the many nights yu've cried yurself to sleep ,.no one knows.
`yu wanna know a secret ,the sky catches tears .;every single one of them ;
when it rains ,.it tells us that we're not alone .,that there are many others who need their tears to be caught .
catching teardrops ,.it heals .;
everyone needs to heal ,maybe thats how we all survive this ride called life. ;
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before i put one step forward,
before i leave my heart out once again.
before i let anyone in., to just push them away once more. ;
before i come crashing down,as i once did. `.
this heart that hav turned cold; .like walls of brick building up after one another. ,it blocks away everything, .away from people, away from tears, away from being hurt, .;away from love. ;&away from feeling anything. ;
"the opposite of love isnt hate. ,its the feeilng of not caring. " ,that must be how it is to not hav a heart, .to not be able to feel love. ,that must be the hole ive been feeling inside. ; ,it was a piercing stab to hear that so bluntly. ;to finally realize waht ive been feeling,.nothing. ;that i cant feel nothing at all. ;yes, ive heard it all, .;im cold hearted. &i dont care. ;thats exactly how i honestly feel.
do yu know waht yu've done to me.,do yu understand this curse yu've put on me. ;do yu know waht yu took away from me. ,;yu've taken the most important emotion that makes one humane. ;,yu've taken my heart, .yu've taken my love. ,yu've left me cold and heartless. ,&i dont know just how i could get it back. ;it seems impossible. ;
" .because of yu ;i never strayed too far from the sidewalk,. ;i learned to play on the safe side so i dont get hurt ,.i find it hard to trust ;not only me but everyone around me ;.because of yu; .,i am afraid. ;"
i've broken quite a few hearts. ,;i wasnt able to take any love, .because i wasnt able to give it back ., ;i wouldnt let anyone get close to me once more and affect me the way yu once did. ,; its not that i wouldnt, but i couldnt . ,i couldnt give my heart out. ,because i didnt hav a heart to give. ,many hav asked to fix the pieces, to mend this broken heart, .but i couldnt hav the trust to hand it to them. ,;this heart, its ice, its stone. ;it stabs me, &i just cant feel anything. ,;i feel numb . ,
i now know that i cant let anyone near, .i cant open to anyone. ,i cant let them see this pain that cant be surfaced, because no one could even begin to understand this agony that holds me back ., they cant set me free. ;'being close to someone would just break their hearts, .i dont want to be guilty of breaking any hearts, ;to damaging any souls ; .i cant let anyone feel the way i do ; .that would be cruel. ;,this pain, is not just any pain ; .its from the many stabs of reality ., its through the many tears and broken wounds; .that are cut deeper &deeper each time ; .its from pain that is built up ,put all together. ,and sooner or later . ,yu break . ;yu become numb, and although it continually hurts, yu can no longer feel the pain, yu cant get hurt, .and yur heart cant break no more. ,because it isnt even whole. , ;yu cant lose something that isnt even there anymore.
but now, .all i hav to say is thank yu. ;yu've made me stronger. ,yu've made me become someone who cant break down anymore. ;i cant get hurt anymore; .&now, i hav the strength to get back up whenever im knocked down. ,; &i thank yu, .fhor breaking this illusion thats called love, .thanks fhor waking me up &bringing me back to reality, .thank yu fhor destroying my world of fantasies &happy endings ., theyre just a waste of time. ,so i thank yu. ;thank yu fhor destroying my heart so i can no longer feel pain. ,yur cuts, they've made me strong.
&thats the person that i wish to grow up to be .,i want to be a strong person ;mentally, emotionally, and physically. ;i want to withstand every obstacle that ever comes my way. ;i want to knock down anything that stands in my way ; .&each time i fall ; i want to have the uttermost strength to pick myself back up . ;&i dont want any help from anyone .i want to be able to help others . ;,to be independent ¬ need anyone ;. i dont need anyone to stand up . ;i can stand on my own. ,because people would only decieve.,&knock me right back down. ,;so i dont need anyone. ,all i need is strength. ,;thats all i need.thats all i want .;
i dont need anyone.
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| 03.29.07 - 03.29.10 ;.so this is it.our three years. ;heres all the troubles, the tears; the laughter; the pain; the love; .everything we've been through. `
yeah, we've had a long road, we've had our share of ups &downs.; we can tell everyone of our love that lasted three years; yes we can.
but waht now.waht happens when things dont change, `yur stubborness stays; some things never change fhor the better ; and some things stays the same fhor the worse.; how is it that after all these years, the fightings dont cease, doesnt even get better; its even worse.; our hearts hav become nothing but worn &broken. ;we cant fix that, yu cant fix my broken heart.
"im thankful that after all the times i pushed yu away, yur still here." .;yu said that to me, on thanksgiving. ;i still hav the text. `yeah.i stayed; but after a while of being pushed; i get tired; i get sick of these games; .i cant take it no more. ;as much as i love yu; it just doesnt work that way. ;i cant take it anymore.
;i admit, i havnt been the best girlfriend ;ive had my share of lies &wrongs.; but i swore i changed; that id stop .and give myself to yu, once more.;the thing was. ;i made a promise; .to commit myself to yu once more.i was giving yu another chance.`i promised myself to only tell yu the truth from now on; and i did .i promised myself to never do anything to hurt yu. ;and i didnt. ;
yknow waht hurts the most ;not the fact that waht we had is over. ;not of the memories that were once ours are now gone. ;but its my heart, that i was finally willing to give yu. ;yu threw it. ;yu smashed it, torn it quite well. ;yeah, after all those times i told myself i wouldnt give another man my heart; .i chose to give it to yu;. yknow, i reallie believed that maybe this time, this time would be different. ;i believed yu when yu said we'd make it through; .and i meant it when i said that we'd last fhoralways &ever. ;that i wanted yu; and only yu fhor the rest of my life.; did yu even know that i meant it. ;i meant it with all my heart. ;but did yu care.did yu even consider fhor a second how much of myself i gave to yu; how much risk i put myself through of being heartbroken again. ;did yu even think of me. ;`no, i was the fool ;i was the one who was stupid enough to make the same stupid mistake. ;i was the one who despite all yu've put me through, gave yu the benefit of the doubt once more.; i was the one who chose to believe yur words; that yur heart was reallie true.`well games over; yu won, &i lost, again. ;but im done playing. ;i wont be back again fhor another round.
this broken heart. ;these little shattered pieces, i'll put them back together. ;i'll do it myself ;&i dont need yu. ;`i dont need yu to drag me down once more. ; no, i'll be just fine. ;so please leaave. ;dont ever come back. ;dont call, dont text, dont try to find me;. im gone. ;cuz babe, ;these three years would be unforgettable. ;but this stories over. ;gotta turn the page. ;thanks fhor the memories.`thanks fhor everything yu've given me;.thanks fhor everything yu taught me.;dont worry; yu'll always be in my heart.&i'll never fhorget yu.`
goodbye.
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| i wanted yu to know. ;that it doesnt matter.
where we take this road; someones gotta go.
`&imalreadygone.
to be honest, i dont reallie know waht im looking fhor. ; waht the meaning of going down this road is. `i feel torn apart. ;sometimes i run away, feeling like ive had enough ;not being able to take this any longer. ; hide myself cuz im too shattered to pick these peices up. `i never thought i would fall so hard. ; never thought that would be me. to be lying on the floor, so broken ;that i cant be mended.
all those stories of fairytale endings, the happilyeverafters.; ive always believed that would be me. ;to hav my prince charming. my romeo ;sweep me off my feet.&live that beautiful life ive always dreamed of ; ive always believed in miracles; that wishes would come true. ; i try to still believe it.with all my heart i try. ;but i cant seem to find it in my heart . ;look at me now. torn with my heart lying on the floor; all the stars in my skies are gone. ;i cant make myself believe. after all ive seen ;after all the heartbreaks &tears.i cant. ;how i wish i can still belive in dreams.;that i could go back to those times when i had hope. ;hope is waht keeps us alive. ;but now, im not living.no, im dead inside.;these empty spaces in my heart; theyre because of yu.
all those sorries;.theres always a reason. ;a reason why yu hav the right to break my heart. ;to tear it apart. ;&make it hard fhor me to even breathe. well darling, id say yu teared it up quite well ; took it apart &smashed it into the littlest peices.id tell myself that its my fault; take all the blame. ;but knowing in my heart, yu've left me here with nothing but a broken heart. i cant bear to let myself go on this road.but i cant seem to bring myself to go down another.;
i know theres challenges i must go through; these mountains i must climb; all the pain &tears; well theyre gonna knock me down, but i gotta beliieve.that one day; its all worth something; that all the tears im crying will all be worth the smiles one day. ;that one day.someone.; that someone would bring me to a world ; where theres no such thing as pain; where no hearts are broken ; &love, well love is the only thing known to our hearts. ;i want the sunshine &rainbows; corny? ; but we all know we want them.`i want them.
i wanted yu.;i reallie did; i reallie do. `i wanted yu to be the one i love. ; i wanted yu to love me.; all those pretty lies yu told me.; they made me happy.;honestly, yu tell me that all the things yu said; all the things yu did; yu told me yu never meant it ; .but. although that might be true; those were the moments were i found myself being happy to be me; those are the times i can never forget; cuz those were the moments; where my smiles were real ;.never could i hav gone through a day without giving a fake smile; never once would my smiles come from the heart; but yu; .well yu brought them out; dont know how. but with that pretty smile of yurs;mines just couldnt help but come out.`dont know how yu did it; i even tried my hardest not to fall fhor yu;.promised myself i wouldnt ever fall in love again.; but there yu went &turned my life around. ;yu showed me another side of life; yu showed me how perfect life could be; .but as we all know, everything.would always come to an end. ;the good things, the bad; .i just hoped yu would be around longer.; maybe its because i miss smiling.;i miss being happy. ;i miss the way yu kiss me ;the way yur touches feel. ;imissyu.';
im sorrie fhor all the trouble i caused yu; fhor bringing yu down &causing yu to hav times of doubts ; sorrie that i wasnt always there fhor yu ; that i was sometimes selfish; &didnt think of yur needs; im sorrie fhor making yur life even more hard.; i never meant to make yu feel as bad as yu did; never meant to cause yu pain. ; thats the last thing i wanted to do ; .the only thing i can do; is let yu go;.as much as it hurts; im not letting yu see my tears.; not letting yu see how much this is hurting me; as much as i wish we could stay the way we were;we've already gone down different paths;.im not gonna hurt yu; yu even told me.;this is the only way.; `i got thte message.; i'll make things easier fhor yu;i'll leave. ;so here yu go.; just like yu wanted.; i dont know where im gonna go ; but i know i cant stay;.i just hope.;that maybe; when yu think of me; the times we had; .just fhor a moment; yu smile.; `yu'll always be there in my heart; engraved &tatooed.;cant ever erase yu.; so there.i'll live my life knowing how close we came, to being all that i wanted to be; .ive tried to say goodbye.;oh so many times; .never quite worked.; this time; i guess. i guess its time ; to realie let go.; although i know, that by just the sound of yur voice would make me melt. ;well, its not like i hav a choice. ; .but i'll keep trying. ;fhor yu. ; i'll make things easier fhor yu. ;i'll be gone.;just fhor yu.;`i wont look back.; i'll let go. -i'lltrytoforgetthewayyumademesmile;i'lltrytoforgetthelovethatwasnevertrue.
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